How’ve you been?
Still sexy as a siren I see
& on walls you still lean.”
she leaps into my arms’;
I hug & twirl her round,
as she wraps’ around me with her arms’.
We stop for a moment
& stare into each others’ eyes;
hers gleam with a love
that unfortunately transcends that which she has for these guys…
I put her down
& she turns around
to say “this is Eric”
& pulls close the new shmuck she’s brought to town.
as I seethe with disgust.
& ask “how you doing’?”
as I wish his balls’ dry up & rust
Now on to more important “Niki’s”…
‘She’s in town for a while this time’
she says as she slips’ her soft & delicate hands’
firmly into mine…
Her fingers curl around my own;
She doesn’t know that they’re shaking profusely,
cause with this iron will
I keep them still & rock steady
We walk & talk
& no matter how much I try to exclude the bitch
she keeps bringing “ERIC” into the conversation;
(sigh) still resisting the urge to curse & spit.
We’re still laughing while at the ‘DINER’.
It’s 11:00pm but they know us here,
so Geraldine smiles
while bringing a fresh pot of coffee unstirred.
It’s been raining more recently;
I watch as it runs down the ‘DINER’ window.
Her laughter brings’ me back,
to gaze into the windows to her soul…
We laugh as we reminisce
about childhood & all we did;
yet the things’ we don’t say
are the most important indeed…
Those moments that drew us closer,
bonding our hearts’ & souls’;
that’s why we’re this close
& why all I can do is hold & console.
Nights spent running in the rain,
pretending to be Werewolves
after we’d watched that monster flick
from the roof overlooking the “Drive-in”…
How when she got home
her over-protective father would beat her
for playing in the rain & running round barefoot.
& how this almost killed within her the laughter.
Then she’d call me at 03:00am
silently sobbing on the phone;
before she’d say a word
I’d be out of my room & halfway to her home…
to stand outside her window,
with my radio on.
Then she’d sneak out to join me;
to the ‘Tree-house’ we’d run.
Listen to the radio
& fall asleep till morning.
Walk her home & as her father scowls at me,
her mother is silently smiling.
Yes we know we love this town,
yet sometimes you wished you’d get out.
When you hit nineteen
you hit the road out of this town.
You turned to me & said
“Dear friend goodbye;
I’ll send you an address
so don’t forget to write”.
From time to time
you came home happy;
each time with a new beau;
a boy on your arm that invoked my envy.
Was it for me to approve them?
Or to reassure you that you liked them?
I couldn’t lie to the light in your eyes’,
so I’d tell you the truth if they were good, bad or just temp.s
Your ERIC was tired
& went to the hotel 2 hours ago;
now we look at each other,
grinning with mischievous halos’….
We burst out of the ‘DINER’
& into the rain,
as our emotions burst forth from skin
& through the night they leave a stain.
With Hyena cackles’
we barge into my house;
I’m drenched in my Tees’
& you’re soaking in your blouse.
You lay on the couch
& I’m on the carpet beside you;
still giggling you look at me
& this was the mistake in the moment that I could never undo.
I looked at you with all the feelings
that I’d held for an eternity;
the feelings I’d kept from my eyes
every time you gazed at me through jade-coloured eyes smiling.
I let them flow out,
let you see into the light & dark of my mind;
Into the burning feelings that began,
when you smiled & took my hand since we were 9…
The feelings that grew over the years,
through thick & thin, better or worse;
food-fights & broken toys,
It never wavered, it stayed this course.
Love or infatuation,
call it what you will;
It’s what makes you the one I’d kill for,
or be stabbed for till my beating organ is still.
I see it a moment before it happens;
you linger for a moment as my emo. reaches for you,
then the coldness sets’ in
as you recede from me like my fear knew you would.
A second later
you’re through the door.
The weeping of the rain isn’t enough for me;
I let the tears fall as the silence crushes me to the floor.
I weep till I wish I bleed;
I weep till I wish my eyes glued shut,
so I’d have an excuse not to face the world.
The silence is deafening so I scream but my voice is cut.
The next day I’m at your house;
I’m glad you’re there & not at the hotel.
Although your dad says’ I can’t see you,
I feel ecstatic it’s not into “ERIC’S” arms you fell.
I try all I can to contact you,
but fail every time, miserably & bewilderingly.
My little ray of hope turns to a noose
that I begin choking myself with, unwittingly.
You go back to N.Y;
I keep on calling but you let it ring.
I keep on calling…
I keep on calling…
I call & I get an answer;
my heart throws back flips.
A second later
It’s ripped up & torn into strips.
“Eric” answers the phone…
“ERIC” Answers The Phone!!!
What the Hell??!!!
He then says in a cheery tone:
“It’s over dude,
she’s gone from you;
she no longer calls’ you home
& it’d be best if you forgot her too.”
The line cut’s off…
he’d eat a shovel if I wasn’t so dead inside.
I’m left praying he’s lying
& with an urge to run & hide.
I guess they lied;
‘Ohio isn’t for lovers’,
It’s for emotionally beaten retards like me,
Who are left with only sorrow & shivers…
I keep writing to you,
but after six months’ of this there’s still no reply.
Probably shouldn’t have written in there
that you’re my air & the reason God left me alive…
I write more letters’,
but this time they all begin
with me begging you
not to use my letters
to start your winter fires.
I miss your diamond eyes.
Precious stones they are;
mirrors that show a heart of beauty
& shine with laughter like the brightest stars.
I hear you’re back in town;
guess that bitch was wrong after all.
Yet I feel it’s all dissolved & decayed
& I have nothing with you anymore.
I dream & I see you
stand facing away from me.
I scream but can’t remember your name;
I reach but fall so brilliantly…
Through this, all stays silent
& is pitch-black darkness.
A single beacon of light stands
But I’m drowning in the darkness.
You walk toward the light
as surely as I’m losing this fight.
I fall forward reaching still
& begin drowning as you step into the light.
rebuking all end to “Us”.
I grab my radio & am out of the house;
I go to win you & I now know how I must…
I used to be
that place you ran to,
as you were mine
when it stormed & the windows blew.
Let me be that again
& everything else that you believe you’ll ever need.
I reach your house & turn up the volume;
raise my boom-box to strengthen the feed…
I close my eyes
& let myself go;
release all that I am,
right here beneath your window.
That band screams
our favourite song;
I’ll stand here & play it
if necessary all night long…
“I’m outside of your window,
with my radio;
you are the only station,
you play the songs’ I know…”
You are the song I know…